Change is comming, I never new it would be so hard...

It is 2:20am...as I sit here writing this tonight. It is a very sad and wonderful night all in one. My husband and I had a heart to heart tonight as we lay in bed. (*Tip-If you have a tv in your bedroom, get rid of it. Since we have, we have some of our deepest, most heartfelt conversations laying in bed at night) Our oldest child is just that...not a child anymore. I have tried so hard over the years to guide and protect her to the best of my abilities, but my time is soon to be over. To this day I have pretty good control over her despite the fact she is 18 years old & a Senior in High School. She is trying so desperately to find out who she is and instead of letting her go to spread her wings, I am holding her back, even tighter than ever before. I can see things ahead that she can't and I can't bear to let her put herself through those bad situations and get hurt. Yet through my efforts to save her, I am losing her... She is still my baby and I want to protect her from this world that can be so cruel, yet I am pushing her away... I want her to have a perfect life, without the common misgivings of relationships & bad choices, yet I am running her right into the arms of those very things I am afraid of... I am loosing her, by trying to save her... I guess I am writing tonight to help myself, in letting go and giving her life over to God completely. I always knew it would be hard and yet I never anticipated how hard, nor how much it would hurt. I love her sooo much words cannot say. So for you, as you read this-Hold your little ones close and enjoy the time you have, every moment. For it was just a short time ago she was entrusted to me from the Lord to raise and now my time is nearly done. It will be a new season in our relationship...One of many sorrows and many joys, for I am sure. So I will treasure these last few months of her childhood and look forward to her upcoming time of young adulthood.
I love you baby girl...always and forever...